Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The space in between

With all the craziness of the holidays in full swing, a business to run, an 11 week old to handle, and some sort of personal life there seem to be few moments of "in between" time. I'm sure that no matter who you are, the holidays do this to just about everyone and I have to wonder, why? I enjoy spending time with my family and decorating the house, lighting the candles, and getting the MASSIVE tree. I even enjoy cooking and hostessing, and finding that perfect gift. Christmas has always been just about my favorite time of the year. I think it's a comfort thing for me. Even after my parents were separated, we still did Christmas together. There were a couple years when I was in college that I did my own thing with each of them, but once I got married Christmas became a "family" event again, and now with Abby I don't think I could keep the Grandparents away!
Even still, I find myself close to tears in moments like the one I had this morning. Abby is going through her 3 month growth spurt a bit early (surprise surprise) and has been fussy, hungry, tired, and clingy for the past few days. She had a hard time going back down this morning after her 6am feeding so I pulled her into bed with me and we cuddled. Before you tell me to "stop that habit so she doesn't get used to it" or "that's so dangerous" I will tell you that she spent her first at least three weeks of life sleeping in our bed, not something I had intended to do AT ALL, she is still alive and well, and every night for the last week can be put down in her pack n play to go to bed while she is drowsy and put herself to sleep....we will do what works for us with the given situation. Anyway (mini vent over), she nuzzled into me and was so peaceful. In that moment in between all of the craziness I learned another level of the value of my bond with her and made a silent wish that all children and parents would remember that this kind of love is supposed to be unconditional, remember that especially during the holidays.
My job might be something I love, but it also makes me insane at times. Sure, in not too many years I will probably be able to say that about Abby, but there is nothing I wouldn't give up for my family. I think that if we took time to notice the little moments in between all of the craziness, we might be able to hang on to a bit more sanity when it comes at you from all angles.
As we get ready to put our Holiday cards together to send out, I am thinking about what to put on the inside message. When I look at the front photo for our card, something most of you will see in the mail and I will post after we mail them out, I see the future. When I look at our future, it's all about the little moments in between. I don't see the craziness of work, or the upcoming "terrible twos", I see all of the blissful moments. So why is it so hard for us to see those when we're in them?

Until next time....


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