The past few weeks have involved a never ending roller coaster of events, emotions, tasks, and trying to somehow come out alive on the other side. The worst part about all of it? I can't talk about it yet....
Inside, I'm a writer. This is my outlet, and I think that Kyle loves that I have it, because there are only so many times he can listen to me vent, or talk out my strategy to "take on the big guys". But the nature about this entire situation is protected by a looming necessity for confidentiality, and if I even started to talk about why I could be making things even harder for myself.
What I can say is that everything will be ok, life will go on, and at the end of it all, I will be a more valuable business person from the experience we're having.
What I hate about this....it makes me feel like I'm a bad mother. I cannot physically do everything during the day and night that I need to do, and do everything that Abby needs me, as her mom, to do. Yes, I accept help, and I have a super nanny, and Abby is completely well taken care of. For me personally, it's not enough. When we started trying to have a baby I knew it would be a challenge to balance everything, but I knew that we had the most amazing support system to make sure that we are all ok.
I grew up with working parents, and I know that I need to work (at least part-time) so I have something else to do. I never wanted to be in a position where I was there for the morning and bedtime...and nothing more.
Once this is all over, I'll be happy to take at least a day or two to spend with just my little girl.
Some mommy and Abby time....and maybe a glass of celebratory wine.
Until Next Time.....